How to Teach Students to Be Upstanders Safely
In the video, I repeat something students have told me: “I saw it happening, but I didn’t know what to do.” I get why a student might freeze or worry they will be next, so this lesson should give them safe options, not shame them for the moment they froze.
Teach choices, not one idea of courage
An upstander is a student who takes a helpful step when they notice someone being targeted. The action does not have to be public; a student can check in afterwards instead of stepping into the moment. Speaking up in real time is only an option if it feels safe, and no one should be asked to confront someone alone or put themselves in danger to prove they care.
Try four options and ask students which could fit different situations: change the moment, support the person afterwards, speak up if it feels safe, or tell a trusted adult. A student may choose none of the direct options in the moment and report afterwards, which is still a useful step.
| TEACHER-READY TOOL A short upstander practice for class
Use a neutral scenario, do not assign anyone to play the student being targeted, and tell students they may pass on any activity. · Set the safety rule: “No one has to intervene alone or do anything that feels unsafe.” · Read a fictional scenario, for example, a student is repeatedly mocked in a group chat and classmates have seen it. Do not use a real student’s story or ask anyone to play the target or the aggressor. · In pairs, choose one safe response: change the moment, check in afterwards, speak up if safe, or tell a trusted adult. · Practise one sentence the student could use, then name which adult at this school they would go to. · Close by reminding the class that the adult, not the student reporter, is responsible for the follow-up. |
Give students words they can actually use
Model short phrases such as “Come sit with us,” “That’s not okay, let’s move on,” or “I’m going to get an adult I trust.” For online harm, tell students not to forward or repost the content; instead, they can show it to a trusted adult and follow the school’s reporting process. Name a second adult students can approach if the first person they tell does not respond.
Close the loop as the adult
When a student tells you what they saw, thank them, note what they report and take the concern through the school’s process, without turning them into an investigator. If it is safe to share, tell them what happens next while protecting other students’ privacy; the student reporter should not have to manage the case.
The NSW Department of Education has a teacher resource with lessons for Years 5 to 8 on practising bystander-to-upstander responses. Use the activities that fit your students and local policy, and adapt the examples rather than asking a class to act out humiliation or repeat harmful language.
| Eric’s Anti-Bullying Workshop helps students practise respect, belonging and ways to support one another. His free eBook, Get Equipped to Stop Bullying, shares five practical strategies for schools and teachers. Anti-Bullying Workshop | Get Equipped to Stop Bullying |
Practical takeaways
- Offer several ways to help, including quiet support and reporting afterwards.
- Say out loud that safety comes first and students may choose not to confront.
- Practise short phrases using neutral scenarios, not reenactments of harm.
- Thank students who report and take responsibility for what happens next.